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Why do people tend to counter react?

Discussion in 'Fred's Barcalounge' started by houndman55, May 18, 2017.

  1. Tony65x55

    Tony65x55 Friend of Fred

    Age:
    61
    Sep 23, 2011
    The 'Shwa, Ontario, Canada
    And of course, never underestimate the ability of a 12 gauge to assist you in achieving a calming and peaceful resolution. "There we go. Now we're paying attention and we can talk it out."

    Just kidding. LOL

    Oops, just broke 9,000 posts!
     
    Last edited: May 18, 2017
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  2. englishman

    englishman Friend of Fred

    Age:
    59
    Apr 5, 2014
    Detroit
    That makes me angry!! :mad:
     
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  3. Tony65x55

    Tony65x55 Friend of Fred

    Age:
    61
    Sep 23, 2011
    The 'Shwa, Ontario, Canada
    LOL, step away from the knife David, nice and slow.
     
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  5. Henry

    Henry Friend of Fred

    Apr 9, 2014
    Petaluma
    So if you know this is how peoole eill react then arent you actinf illogically by saying things like calm down? I think when people get into these types of arguments they tend to be blind to their own actions. My advice is to try to understand the other person and express your own feelings in a constructive way rather than telling people how to feel and behave. You know that you wouldn't like to be told how to feel or behave so it is logical others wouldn't either. And that's what "calm down" means.
     
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  6. Salsg

    Salsg Gretschie

    131
    Nov 9, 2016
    Southern California
    Instead of telling them to calm down, think of what it was you did to piss them off in the first place and address that.

    Ego maniacs and narcissists have a hard time understanding that often they are the problem.
     
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  7. Robbie

    Robbie Country Gent

    :D
     
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  8. Piedmont Slim

    Piedmont Slim Electromatic

    75
    Feb 25, 2016
    Piedmont, SC
    People get angry when they lost control of something or someone that they think they should be in control of. Someone did or said something that the angry person believes that they shouldn't have said/done. Think child, idiot driver that tried to smash your car, wife telling you that you can't buy a guitar..., dog peeing on your amp.

    That being said, the only thing that you have any control over is yourself, then only sometimes. So, being angry is never logical. I'm at the point, I think, were I mostly only swear at myself.
     
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  9. TV the Wired Turtle

    TV the Wired Turtle Friend of Fred

    Jul 25, 2009
    so cal
    This is the most EPIC thing EVER posted on this forum!!!!! I am a human tornado and that chinese phrase is mind bending TRUTH.. So, how do I get a flight outa here to come learn more Grasshopper epicosity from you.? :)
     
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  10. audept

    audept I Bleed Orange

    Age:
    69
    Dec 1, 2010
    Sydney, Australia
    So you know my wife,then? :D:D:D
     
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  11. blc45

    blc45 Country Gent

    Age:
    65
    Aug 23, 2011
    nc
    Want to drive your wife crazy? Agree with everything she says. It don't take long for her to go in a rage. They really expect and argument from you and can't take it if you agree with them on everything. Go figure?
     
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  12. DrumBob

    DrumBob Friend of Fred

    Age:
    66
    Feb 2, 2011
    New Jersey
    I've found it's sometimes best to let people vent and get it out before you start to calm them down.
     
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  13. Ricochet

    Ricochet Gretschified

    Nov 13, 2009
    Monkey Island
    Being argumentive, while annoying at times, is perfectly healthy. Think of your kid responding with a "why?" to everything you say.
    Being angry is another matter entirely.
     
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  14. HBob

    HBob Gretschie

    481
    Feb 26, 2012
    Plano, TX
    A lot of times people will get very angry over something small when they have been holding in anger for other reasons and then it just looks crazy. I worked at a suicide and crisis center taking phone calls for a couple of years and would occasionally get a call from someone who was angry and very upset about something small, like a family member accusing them of losing a flashlight. After talking for a while you find out the caller has a terminal illness and the flashlight thing was just the last straw on the camel's back.

    I like what I was told by the guy who does my taxes when we were talking about tempers and anger and other things. He told me, "It's okay to get angry, just try to not get upset." I've been trying that. He has a great Indian accent and I need to go back to see him and get a 5 second video of him saying that so I can watch it and hear it over and over. I think the, "try to not get upset" is something I can use.
     
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  15. blueruins

    blueruins Country Gent

    May 28, 2013
    Savannah, GA
    Difficult not to judge people according to how we might behave in a given situation.
    How many of our behaviors are in our temperment, culture or upbringing.
    Doesn't excuse immoral behavior but expecting people to react as you would is not very realistic. A prudent student of human behavior should take note when a person's reaction doesn't match our expectations and attempt to understand why...there's always a reason.
    As far as it may be from our own we can learn and adapt our expectations to better predict reality and adapt to achieve better results from our own behavior.
     
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  16. loudnlousy

    loudnlousy Country Gent

    Age:
    51
    Oct 18, 2015
    Hildesheim, Germany
    You are talking to a man with a wife suffering from borderline-syndrome. Welcome to my world.
    .....and this is only one very small aspect of this unbeareable illness.....
     
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  17. jayguitar

    jayguitar Electromatic

    92
    Oct 10, 2016
    Cloverdale, Indiana
    You are quite right. BPD ... Borderline Personality Disorder is
    a very serious mental illness with a
    very small recovery rate.
    Jay
     
  18. loudnlousy

    loudnlousy Country Gent

    Age:
    51
    Oct 18, 2015
    Hildesheim, Germany
    Thanks for spreading some hope, Jay:(
     
  19. jayguitar

    jayguitar Electromatic

    92
    Oct 10, 2016
    Cloverdale, Indiana
    Sorry loud lousy, for what it is worth I will keep you in my prayers. I have a lot of compassion
    for you... I was married to one and
    I know the mental and emotional toll it takes on the non-BPD.
    Sincerely, Jay
     
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  20. ampe

    ampe Country Gent

    Age:
    28
    May 11, 2011
    belgium
    Posted a reply that was meant for a different thread.
    Sorry about that.
     
    Last edited: May 20, 2017
  21. markeebee

    markeebee Country Gent

    That about sums it up.
     
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