My Longtime Nemesis Was Beheaded Today

Discussion in 'Fred's Barcalounge' started by Synchro, Dec 1, 2020.

  1. Synchro

    Synchro The artist formerly known as: Synchro Staff Member

    Jun 2, 2008
    Tucson
    Admin Post
    May I announce that Gerald is no more, and no laws were broken in his beheading. Actually, while I was present for the event, I was looking the other way at the moment of Gerald’s demise, not that I would not have cared to see him dispatched.

    Who, you might ask, was Gerald? Gerald was a skin lesion on the back of my neck, who had been there since the mid ‘70s, the Gerald Ford years. This stupid, tiny little thing, had been flaring up occasionally ever since. I could never get a doctor to take it seriously, until now. Gerald and I had an uneasy truce for decades. He would only irritate me on rare occasions and I could squeeze him like a pimple and everything would be fine, sometimes for months on end. But a few years ago, I was using something on the order of a hand sanitizer and wiped a bit on the back of my neck. Gerald must have been sensitive to alcohol, because ever since then, the durned thing gave me hell.

    Amazingly, Gerald’s beheading was swift and painless. < 1 CC of Lidocaine and one painless slice and Gerald was off to wherever evil skin lesions go when they die, with a short visit to the pathology lab on the way. Had it been malignant, it would have spread long ago, but according to the Doctor, Gerald was only 3mm in diameter. My guess is that Gerald was actually a foreign body lodged in my skin, possibly gravel from an asphalt shingle. Whatever the case, by all appearances, a very thin slice into my skin seems to have done the trick. I won’t know for a month or so, but all current indications are good and the Doctor felt that he had gotten to the root of it.

    I just had to post this. How often does someone get to say that they had their nemesis of 45 years beheaded? :)
     
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  2. audept

    audept Senior Gretsch-Talker

    Age:
    73
    Dec 1, 2010
    Sydney, Australia
    Great news, Mark. It's so good to be finally rid of something that's been an annoyance for years!
     
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  3. ishtar

    ishtar Country Gent

    Geeze, Mark... I never knew... Now I know... I’ve had a mole beheaded and a corn on the side of a little toe. Supposedly, my grandfather poured turpentine on a wart on his toe and cut it off with a scissors.

    Dismemberment. What a deal! Time to heal.
     
  4. Synchro

    Synchro The artist formerly known as: Synchro Staff Member

    Jun 2, 2008
    Tucson
    Admin Post
    It’s amazing how good it feels not to have that irritation on the back of my neck. When I was leaving the Doctor’s office, I felt like a weight had been lifted.

    I’m very stoic. :)
     
    ishtar likes this.
  5. Ricochet

    Ricochet I Bleed Orange

    Nov 13, 2009
    Monkey Island
    No phantom pain rearing it's ugly head? 45 years is a long time for an appendix to develop a special kind of symbiosis with a host. Still have all your super powers?!
     
    Jeff67 likes this.
  6. thunder58

    thunder58 Super Moderator Staff Member

    Age:
    62
    Dec 23, 2010
    tappan ny
    Admin Post
    ...you haven't met my ex-wife yet have you :p
    All jokes aside , glad you're feeling better about yourself . Taking care of your body is a very important thing .
     
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  7. Congrats! Thanks for not posting photos!
     
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  8. GoLeafsGo

    GoLeafsGo Synchromatic

    550
    May 1, 2014
    Ajax Ontario
    Pics or it didn't happen....
     
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  9. tartanphantom

    tartanphantom Friend of Fred

    Age:
    57
    Jul 30, 2008
    Murfreesboro, TN
    And here I am, upon reading the title, thinking that "Gerald" was your pet name for a Les Paul...

    [​IMG]
     
  10. Synchro

    Synchro The artist formerly known as: Synchro Staff Member

    Jun 2, 2008
    Tucson
    Admin Post
    All super powers are intact and accounted for.
    Now I have pictorial proof. :)
     
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  11. drmilktruck

    drmilktruck I Bleed Orange

    May 17, 2009
    Plymouth, MN
    Glad it's gone. I would have beheaded Gerald a long time ago for you. I'm always happy to perform a little office surgery.
     
  12. Synchro

    Synchro The artist formerly known as: Synchro Staff Member

    Jun 2, 2008
    Tucson
    Admin Post
    It’s somewhat strange, because I had mentioned it to more than one physician and was unable to generate more than a cursory glance which elicited a remark that it didn’t look serious, but none of them wanted to tackle it. My current doctor is, essentially, retired, having closed his practice a couple of years ago, he agreed to work one day per week for a clinic opened by the local hospital and seems to be keeping fairly busy, and doesn’t have to bother himself with the mundane details of operating a business. It’s a good deal for him and he seems quite happy with the arrangement.

    During my last annual checkup, a month ago, I asked for a referral to a dermatologist, but he took a look at Gerald and opined that this wasn’t a cyst, or anything deep, so he was willing to tackle it if I could come in at the end of his workday. So I did, and so he did. He took one last look and said that he’d just shave it deep enough to remove the lesion and that he didn’t see any reason to go all the way through my skin.

    I have to say that it seems to have done the trick. I had zero pain, beyond a little bit of tightness last night. The doctor was certain that he had gotten to the bottom of the disturbed tissue, so I’m happy and there are no sutures requiring a follow up visit. I’ll be curious as to what the lab finds. Obviously, had it been malignant, it would have finished me off a long time ago. My money remains wagered that it was a piece of shingle gravel. Those little pieces of rock can be very small, very sharp and oddly shaped. Perhaps this one had a little barb that kept it embedded for all of these years.
     
  13. tartanphantom

    tartanphantom Friend of Fred

    Age:
    57
    Jul 30, 2008
    Murfreesboro, TN
    This almost makes the BB that I've had embedded in the pad of my left index fingertip for 40 years seem inconsequential. It's deep, surrounded by internal scar tissue, and has never given me problems-- even when playing.
    I had an altercation with a BB gun when I was 16. We got the BB out, or so we thought. But apparently there were two BB's in the chamber. I didn't discover the 2nd one until it showed up on an MRI many years later. The entry scar is still there if you look hard enough, and so is the BB-- you can feel it if you press deep with a fingernail.

    Apparently my body just adapted to it.
    Hey, at least I didn't shoot my eye out!;)

    [​IMG]
     
    Last edited: Dec 1, 2020
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  14. Synchro

    Synchro The artist formerly known as: Synchro Staff Member

    Jun 2, 2008
    Tucson
    Admin Post
    Wow. That sounds like no fun at all. Whatever was embedded in my skin, assuming that something was actually embedded, had to have been very small. It’s still possible that there is a cyst or something of that nature lying beneath, but there are plenty of reasons to believe that is not actually the case.

    At the moment, it looks like an abrasion, less than the diameter of a dime. It’s a little bit tight and itchy, but basically easy to ignore, at this point. Actually, a lot of people find me a bit tight and itchy, but basically easy to ignore, so at least I’ve achieved self-symmetry. :)
     
  15. wabash slim

    wabash slim Gretschified

    Age:
    71
    Feb 10, 2010
    lafayette in
    No "Pain in the neck" comments?

    Last night, they ran the episode of "Futurama" where Leela had a "boyle" named Susan deflated. At least hers sang.
     
  16. Synchro

    Synchro The artist formerly known as: Synchro Staff Member

    Jun 2, 2008
    Tucson
    Admin Post
    In an amazing coincidence, Gerald was an Irish Tenor. :)
     
  17. wabash slim

    wabash slim Gretschified

    Age:
    71
    Feb 10, 2010
    lafayette in
    This all ties in with the Swiss Army Knife/multitool thread, doesn't it?
     
  18. doc538

    doc538 Electromatic

    14
    Sep 20, 2017
    Massachusetts
    Gee I thought it was going to be the CAT....
     
  19. Jeff67

    Jeff67 Country Gent

    Age:
    53
    Nov 3, 2019
    Crockett, Texas
    Definitely! One of the few times "pics or it didn't happen" doesn't apply! We'll take your word for it, brother!;)
     
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  20. Synchro

    Synchro The artist formerly known as: Synchro Staff Member

    Jun 2, 2008
    Tucson
    Admin Post
    There’s not really much to see, anyhow. It looks like an abrasion and is already healing rapidly.
     
    Jeff67 likes this.
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