Lost my jam partner

Discussion in 'Fred's Barcalounge' started by Jelly Roll Horton, May 6, 2021.

  1. Jelly Roll Horton

    Jelly Roll Horton Country Gent

    Nov 10, 2017
    Portland, OR
    I had a great jam partner for about a year before Covid struck. Now as we approach fully vaxxed I get an email from him that his life has changed dramatically in the past year, and he will have to move about 900 miles east. I’m completely sympathetic to his situation, and I will miss him. He’s a much better guitar player than I am and I learned a lot from him!

    He says he might still occasionally get back to Portland, but isn’t sure. I am really bummed. It is very hard to find a good jam partner who doesn’t want to form a band or isn’t already in a band, who isn’t afraid to play music with someone my age (76), is on a similar musical wave length playlist, knows the songs, and just wants to get together for a casual jam.

    I don’t know where to look for another partner. Portland is supposed to have a big music community, and it does, and I know a lot of people, but mostly from the folk/acoustic/jug band community, and I have moved into electric blues, early jazz, RnB, country Swing, and so on, and anyway the scene here has changed in the Covid year, and there is still a lot of social hesitance due to that. I’ve tried Craig’s List, but nothing there.

    I don’t mean to rant or whine, just vent and express some frustration with some maybe sympathetic souls here on GT. How are you all doing?
    Back in Black, Henry, GHook and 12 others like this.
  2. montereyjack66

    montereyjack66 Country Gent

    Feb 29, 2012
    179573610_10165998204340377_5005051508302556409_n.jpg No law says you have to stop. Adapt, maybe. Stop? None shall pass.
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  3. BrianW

    BrianW Country Gent

    Oct 21, 2014
    Vancouver Island
    I can sympathize, it's been very difficult on many levels with the social distancing. I live alone, and never as much as the past year. I lost my guitar mentor a number of years ago and still very much miss our informal sessions. He introduced me to some very talented musicians over the years that made me appreciate a wide spectrum of styles and approaches.

    Now, it's just me basically. I would gladly trade every instrument I own to be able to go back to the days when my only guitar was an entry level acoustic to be able to jam with him again.

    This can't last forever, you will find others to play with eventually. Not the same, I know, but eventually...
    Archtops and Jelly Roll Horton like this.
  4. mr coffee

    mr coffee Country Gent

    Oct 7, 2009
    Yeah, my parents had a circle of friends who would jam, nothing particularly structured. That group has splintered or collapsed or something, and my folks are missing it. At least they have each other, Mom got her bass out the other day for the first time in a while and they played some songs. I haven't had any musical interaction in...a while. Not sure where to find people that aren't the usual craigslist mess.

    Just a flesh wound...

    MrWookiee and Jelly Roll Horton like this.
  5. wabash slim

    wabash slim Gretschified

    Feb 10, 2010
    lafayette in
    Bummer. Leave a note posted at local music stores looking for jam partners. Neighborhood groups online might be another source. Maybe a P&W group at church could suffice. Sadly, my last jam buddy move a few hundred miles away, and one other passed away a few years ago.
    Tis but a scratch.
    mrfixitmi likes this.
  6. radd

    radd Country Gent

    Dec 27, 2017
    Playing guitar

    I’m only 10 hrs and 54 minutes away. Get in the car now you can be here by 9am. I’ll be your Jam partner .......Don’t forget to bring the Rose...:D

    Archtops and Benturner83 like this.
  7. Archtops

    Archtops Synchromatic

    Mar 4, 2021
    Sorry to hear you’ve lost your jam partner JR. Maybe you could offer to teach the basics and fundamentals of guitar playing. I’m sure there’s some folks around that would love to get together for an informal jam. Possibly at a local auditorium for jam night. At a safe distance of course.
    Best of luck!
  8. thunder58

    thunder58 Super Moderator Staff Member

    Dec 23, 2010
    tappan ny
    Admin Post
    Always a sad thing when we lose a friend , sorry to hear of this . I'm sure you'll find a new jam partner , just give it some time and the right fit will come along . All the best
    mrfixitmi likes this.
  9. Thats never fun, but it’s part of music life. Or so i found out. Connecting with a player is rare. I can always find someone to casually jam with, and can pick up quick gigs as a fill in person, but the ones that make that spark in you, help you create, inspire, are rare for me. I am fortunate that my wife makes up most of that. She plays a bit of tenor guitar and a few others, sings and writes. I have many songs where i can come up with what i feel are a decent chorus, or the occasional hook, but i can never fill in the rest. She does it. She is the only musician i have known that I would share a house with.

    There have been many others through out the years that have come and gone. Either they moved away, or we moved. Always something. At the same time, its one of those “ as one door closes, another opens”. At the time you cant always see that. But its these events that lead us in different directions. Takes you further. Its up to you to make the best of it.

    Either way, i feel your pain.
    MrWookiee likes this.
  10. collama

    collama Gretschie

    Sep 4, 2017
    Sorry to hear that. I’ve never had a jam partner like that so hard to know what that would be like. Keep trying. That’s a good sized city so there’s got to be another person around there that you could jell with.

    I’m really missing playing out, jamming, and open mics. I was in a band but we called it quits a few months before COVID, and at that time I decided to take a bit of break from music and focus more on my outdoor hobbies. But this past winter I got back to music and have really been looking forward to jams and open mics again. There are a few things going around here, but not much.
  11. NiterideGuitarist

    NiterideGuitarist Electromatic

    Jun 4, 2016
    Rochester, NY
    Sorry you are losing a bud. Special relationships are just that. Always good memories. Music, whether jamming or gigging creates those moments that stick with you forever. I call it The Brotherhood! …and that’s why we move on. Best wishes.
    Jelly Roll Horton likes this.
  12. Sid Nitzerglobin

    Sid Nitzerglobin Country Gent

    Jun 8, 2015
    I can relate for sure. I've never been particularly into playing out myself, even when I had a lot more free time & was closer in age to most of the potential bandmates out there, but I absolutely love playing w/ others (particularly when you all gel well w/ improv) & it's always been a challenge in finding like minded players to play w/ regardless of our genre proclivities.

    I don't have any good advice on finding them, but I do wish you good luck in finding new partners to provide your jam fix.
    Jelly Roll Horton likes this.
  13. Jerzey Bob

    Jerzey Bob Synchromatic

    Apr 3, 2021
    North Jersey
    try the local craigslist listings
    slickfaster likes this.
  14. SAguitar

    SAguitar Synchromatic

    Jan 17, 2020
    Jack Plate, Oregon
    My sympathies, brother. That's a hard thing to go through. The only thing I can offer in advice is something from an old song... "If someone is giving you hell, don't take it. If you're going through hell, don't stop. Don't stop."
    So there you go, press onward and hope for the best. This last year (more than that now) has been very hard on the musically inclined souls. I have been fortunate that my outlet is through my church, and while that avenue has scaled back a bit, we are still meeting and playing every week. I need that for therapy.
  15. GreTschocaster

    GreTschocaster Synchromatic

    Feb 11, 2013
    Sorry you lost your jam buddy. My jam partner and myself really have diverse interests. He likes jazz and I like rockabilly. We found common interest in Blues so we try to stay there when we jam.
    We met at a common friend's party and got talking about guitars about 6 years ago. We try to get together each week but with covid that hasn't been happening. Check out some local guitar stores they may know of someone interested in jamming. I don't know your skill level but you could consider taking lessons (I still do) to fill the void. Also he may be able to refer you to someone looking for a jam partner. Hope you can find someone!
    Jelly Roll Horton likes this.
  16. mr coffee

    mr coffee Country Gent

    Oct 7, 2009
    I hope y'all's craigslist listings are better than what's around here...scumbags and whackjobs mostly.

  17. GHook

    GHook Gretschie

    Sep 3, 2010
    Guitar4Vets might be an option, in lieu of a Jam buddy, Look them up online.
  18. AllenK

    AllenK Gretschie

    Sorry for your loss and hope you can find someone else to jam with.
  19. Henry

    Henry I Bleed Orange

    Apr 9, 2014
    I am sorry to hear that. It is so hard to find people to play with that have similar goals, skill and taste. In college I got to play with the same bass and guitar player for 2.5 years. We were a great fit, all competent rhythm to melody players (I was much more focused on lead playing then). The bass player turned out to be a great funk guitar player for the band Cadillac Jones based in Atlanta if any of you have a chance to see them.

    Then I didn't play with anyone for about 17 years. Yikes that makes me feel old.

    I am again playing with another guitar player and bass player, started as the daddy band. We've been playing together 7 years now! About every 1 to 3 months. We've been playing acoustic outdoors during the pandemic. We love playing together and are also friends that like to hang out and appreciate some good Scotch. We each have successful and busy career, a wife, 2 kids and pets.

    I would see if some of those folk players are interested. They may be looking for a low pressure opportunity to play something different. Get a six pack and take turns choosing songs. Playing Playing others is a great way to learn new music and expand your horizons.

    Best of luck in finding a new music buddy!
  20. Jerzey Bob

    Jerzey Bob Synchromatic

    Apr 3, 2021
    North Jersey
    I have had occasional luck, as we know, finding good bandmates/jam partners is like finding a good woman, you have to sort thru a lot a bad ones before you find a good one.

    Maybe even just go to a local jam & if you don't want to play, just hang out & ask around.
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