Jokes thread

drmilktruck

I Bleed Orange
May 17, 2009
19,230
Plymouth, MN
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audept

Senior Gretsch-Talker
Dec 1, 2010
29,446
Sydney, Australia
Saint Peter is checking ID’s at the Pearly Gates, and first comes a Texan. “Tell me, what have you done in life?” says St.
Peter.
The Texan says, “Well, I struck oil, so I became rich, but I didn’t sit on my laurels–I divided all my money among my entire family in my will, so our descendants are all set for about three generations.”
St. Peter says, “That’s quite something. Come on in. Next!”
The second guy in line has been listening, so he says,
“I struck it big in the stock market, but I didn’t selfishly just provide for
my own like that Texan guy.
I donated five million to Save the Children.”
“Wonderful!” says Saint Peter. “Come in. Who’s next?”
The third guy has been listening, and says timidly with a downcast look,
“Well, I only made five thousand dollars in my entire lifetime.”
“Heavens!” says St. Peter. “What instrument did you play?”
 

audept

Senior Gretsch-Talker
Dec 1, 2010
29,446
Sydney, Australia
A guitarist dies and goes to Heaven, where he is directed to the heavenly night club.

He sees a wonderful room, capacious stage, and an all-time all-star group of musicians.

Recognizing Jimi Hendrix, he walks over and asks "How's the gig here?"

Jimi says, "Well, you can see that the layout and the equipment is fine, we get fed gourmet food, the best wines and a little reefer to take the edge off."

"That sounds perfect," says the new guy. "There's just one thing," Jimi adds. "God's got this girlfriend who thinks she can sing...."
 


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