Jokes thread

drmilktruck

I Bleed Orange
May 17, 2009
18,917
Plymouth, MN
I was at my eye doctor’s office today. As I left, I noticed a sign by the stairs that said, “If you had your eyes dilated, please use the elevator.” I get it, it’s a bad look to have patients tumbling down stairs, smacking their heads or breaking their hips. On the other hand, the clinic apparently didn’t seem to care that I was about to hurtle down the road at 60 miles per hour, spreading death and destruction from Minnetonka to Plymouth. I have no idea how many people I put into the ditch.
 

radd

Friend of Fred
Dec 27, 2017
5,665
Santa Cruz
I was at my eye doctor’s office today. As I left, I noticed a sign by the stairs that said, “If you had your eyes dilated, please use the elevator.” I get it, it’s a bad look to have patients tumbling down stairs, smacking their heads or breaking their hips. On the other hand, the clinic apparently didn’t seem to care that I was about to hurtle down the road at 60 miles per hour, spreading death and destruction from Minnetonka to Plymouth. I have no idea how many people I put into the ditch.

Yur kill’n me Doc……🤣
 

wabash slim

I Bleed Orange
Feb 10, 2010
17,065
lafayette in
I was at my eye doctor’s office today. As I left, I noticed a sign by the stairs that said, “If you had your eyes dilated, please use the elevator.” I get it, it’s a bad look to have patients tumbling down stairs, smacking their heads or breaking their hips. On the other hand, the clinic apparently didn’t seem to care that I was about to hurtle down the road at 60 miles per hour, spreading death and destruction from Minnetonka to Plymouth. I have no idea how many people I put into the ditch.
Once, when I had my eyes dilated, the Doc asked if I had someone to drive me home.
"Not a problem, Doc---I've been to thirty Grateful Dead concerts."
 

wabash slim

I Bleed Orange
Feb 10, 2010
17,065
lafayette in
I think I still have the Bob & Doug MacKenzie comedy LP somewhere. They actually got Geddy Lee to do vocals on the "Take Off" single.
Bob & Doug were amazed when he spoke standard English instead of Hoser.
"Aw, Geez! He's bilingual, eh?" "The 12 Days of Christmas" was beauty!
That album was great.

Rick Moranis and Dave Thomas voiced two moose (eh?) in the Disney movie, "Brother Bear".
Talked like Hosers and did the commentary section---all in Hoser.

The whole Bob & Doug bit was supposed to cover the two minutes of required "Canadian content" that the CBC required. They were going to cut that out for the US commercials. Bit was so good SCTV cut something else.

If it wasn't for Second City, we'd never have had Saturday Night Live.
 


Top