How Do YOU Cook a Turkey?

Discussion in 'Fred's Barcalounge' started by drmilktruck, Nov 21, 2021.

  1. drmilktruck

    drmilktruck I Bleed Orange

    May 17, 2009
    Plymouth, MN
    David Von Drehle in The Washington Post dissects all the ways you can roast a turkey, arguing most of the time they don't end up tasting good, because it was "bequeathed to us by Satan." He argues, "It’s good manners to praise the turkey, like praising a child’s piano recital. But can you think of another dish for which “moist” is a superlative?"

    https://www.washingtonpost.com/opin...m=email&utm_source=newsletter&wpisrc=nl_ideas

    How do you do it? Or do you make something else for Thanksgiving Day?
     
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  2. Sabato

    Sabato Country Gent

    Mar 22, 2019
    Massachusetts
    Does he praise it before decapitation? Any poultry benefits from brining, there are many formulas.

    In France they thought the big bird from the West came from India, which is all that was out west they thought. "In French, a turkey is a coq d’inde or dinde—a name that references India."

    But my fave:
     
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  3. wabash slim

    wabash slim I Bleed Orange

    Age:
    72
    Feb 10, 2010
    lafayette in
    Cook?

    Woman, at the store, looking over the section of poultry, stops a stock boy.
    "Excuse me, but do these turkeys get any bigger?"
    "No, ma'am. They're dead."

    We do a family gathering with my wife's side of the fam earlier in November. Here, at home, since it's the five of us, we will probably do a ham. I can only eat just so much dead bird.
     
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  4. Sabato

    Sabato Country Gent

    Mar 22, 2019
    Massachusetts
    I think there is a federal statute requiring turkey on Thanksgiving. I can eat the whole bird, or two.....
     
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  5. MrWookiee

    MrWookiee Synchromatic

    990
    Jun 17, 2020
    SoCal, USA
    Reminded me of this... just until the dinner scene ends after a couple of minutes.
     
  6. MrWookiee

    MrWookiee Synchromatic

    990
    Jun 17, 2020
    SoCal, USA
    Bread pudding! Not too wet, not too dry.
     
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  7. wabash slim

    wabash slim I Bleed Orange

    Age:
    72
    Feb 10, 2010
    lafayette in
    Ben Franklin wanted the wild turkey as our national symbol instead of the Bald Eagle.
    Domestic turkeys are a far cry from their wild cousins. Domestic turkeys are so stupid that they can drown in a rainstorm. It really happened. Knew a guy who worked at a chicken/turkey farm. Turkeys. if outdoors in the rain, were known to look up to see what tapped them on the head. The water would accumulate, and viola!, drowned turkey. The wild ones are considered one of the hardest animals of any species to hunt.
    I still burn out on turkey after a plateful.
     
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  8. swivel

    swivel Country Gent

    May 13, 2018
    PNW
    I go and let someone there cook it!
    But when I did, I kinda liked the "breast down" method. Yeah it ain't as pretty, but it's the breast that gets dry in a turkey, and cooked down with the natural oils etc basting in the breast is a winner!
     
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  9. drmilktruck

    drmilktruck I Bleed Orange

    May 17, 2009
    Plymouth, MN
    We have about a dozen wild turkeys in our area. Occasionally all of them wander through our yard.
     
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  10. thunder58

    thunder58 Super Moderator Staff Member

    Age:
    62
    Dec 23, 2010
    tappan ny
    Admin Post
    YES ! :p
     
  11. thunder58

    thunder58 Super Moderator Staff Member

    Age:
    62
    Dec 23, 2010
    tappan ny
    Admin Post
    Please please please ...... for safety sake if you deep fry a turkey ........ SAFETY FIRST
     
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  12. nickurso

    nickurso Gretschified

    Age:
    55
    Dec 24, 2012
    New Orleans la.
    That happens every year here. Very dangerous stuff
     
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  13. wildeman

    wildeman I Bleed Orange

    May 10, 2015
    norcal
    24hr brine, 2x16 lb'ers on the smoker for around 4 to 5hrs.
     
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  14. OzzPocket

    OzzPocket Synchromatic

    574
    Aug 11, 2020
    NYS
    This is my Thanksgiving, this year....It's already in the freezer...just waiting for the microwave :)
    [​IMG]
     
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  15. Shock

    Shock Gretschie

    295
    Sep 7, 2020
    Minnesota
    2/3rds of my kitchen is dishes that use once a year. I have to wash the dust off them to use them now, and I will wash them again to put them away. People all up in my house, messing it up, drinking up anything in the fridge, complaining the butter is too soft. Have to clean the entire house twice, once before they get here, then after they leave. Wonder what will get broken this year? And it just isn't a holiday until someone cries. And I have to be at work at 8:00 am Friday.
     
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  16. Sabato

    Sabato Country Gent

    Mar 22, 2019
    Massachusetts
    One year I cooked one in the oven and also smoked one in the big green egg, thinking that not everyone would like the smoky one. Smoked won in popularity by a wide margin.
     
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  17. JeffreyLeePierre

    JeffreyLeePierre Country Gent

    In the UK, they do it for Christmas:

     
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  18. wabash slim

    wabash slim I Bleed Orange

    Age:
    72
    Feb 10, 2010
    lafayette in
    We have a lot of turkeys around here as well.
    Some of them hold public office.
     
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