Falling Apart

Discussion in 'Fred's Barcalounge' started by stevo, Sep 22, 2021.

  1. stevo

    stevo Friend of Fred

    May 1, 2012

    This is one of my bright spots in the day. I love talking guitars. But lately, I've headed into a terrible funk. Can't enjoy anything, full of anxiety and panic attacks. This is all very new to me. I've had to schedule a meeting with a counselor and am surprisingly considering some medication. Most of my anxiety probably stems from past deaths and loss that I've not dealt with. But heck if I know for sure. First appt is tomorrow.

    This is not easy to talk about. But I'm going nuts here - need to share with my friends.

    Anyone else have this kind of experience?
  2. J Bird

    J Bird Synchromatic

    Hang in there. Go to that appointment. Be patient. There's no shame. With a pill a day, folks that I know with roughly similar issues have kept on an even keel. Perhaps that, or something else your doctor recommends can help steady things.

    Wishing you the best.
    stevo and pmac11 like this.
  3. ZackyDog

    ZackyDog Friend of Fred

    Feb 6, 2015
    In the USA
    Like means thanks for sharing this. If it is any consolation, you're not alone. Good for you on being proactive with treatment.
    sgarnett and stevo like this.
  4. speedicut

    speedicut Friend of Fred

    Jun 5, 2012
    Better to share your troubles with others rather than carry them all by yourself... we'll help with the load.
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  5. Stefan87

    Stefan87 Country Gent

    May 20, 2019
    Brisbane, Australia
    Hey Stevo,

    I know very well where you are coming from, not from me with anxiety but just recently my wife was struck down terribly with it, it started one day where she was feeling a bit light headed and then stemmed from there, she couldn't shake the feeling which lead to a 2 year search for what was causing it, she was tested for everything that could cause dizziness/vertigo and all test kept showing she was fine but then recommended to another option on which we explored, it then went into fully blown health anxiety, my wife was petrified of fainting or being left alone incase something might happen so she pretty much had to be baby sat 24/7, there were days were she would come to work with me and sit in the car for 10 hours because no one was home that she could visit or stay with for the day, it took 2 years from her life and put a tremendous amount of stress on us financially and emotionally, it resulted in her being shipped to Sydney to be with her mother as she didn't work and me staying in Brisbane with the hope that she would be ok in a few months, this lasted a year before I finally packed up and moved down there.

    The story does have a happy ending though as when we were down there we managed to get my wife through it, it was a long process and I have learnt a lot about anxiety/depression and what the mind can do to a person, my wife is a lot better now, not fully 100% but miles from where she was, we are back in Brisbane and have a beautiful 2 year old daughter.

    So I will say that I know that things might look a bit tough at times and the mind can do a lot of weird things to a person, a counsellor can be a god send but you need to find one that you are comfortable with, if you feel like it's not working for you then before you give up on the idea try a few others until you find someone you click with, the medication road is another one that can have pitfalls as it doesn't work for everyone and there is a lot of different versions out there so again it may be trial and error on that one too, it didn't work for y wife so we had to do everything on her own.

    If you ever want to talk or if I can answer any questions I would happily take the time, best of luck with it all and just know you can get through it.
    Retro, stevo, new6659 and 4 others like this.
  6. Jerzey Bob

    Jerzey Bob Synchromatic

    Apr 3, 2021
    North Jersey
    Make time to remove yourself from daily mayhem in a quiet place. Clear your mind. Personally, I'd recommend naturally grown inhalents before pharmacutical remedies.
    Archtops, stevo, TubeLife and 2 others like this.
  7. oneforsorrow

    oneforsorrow Synchromatic

    May 15, 2020
    Reaching out is the absolute right thing to do! Congrats on saying something.

    I'll second some of what @Stefan87 said regarding exploring counselors/therapist if the first doesn't work out for you. It's a very, very personal situation and finding the right match is important. So if at first it doesn't feel like a good fit, don't throw out the baby with the bath water on therapy/counseling -- seek another provider for sure.

    I actually misread your original post and thought you said you were considering meditation not medication. But because I'd already typed out the following, I decided to leave it. It's been a big help with anxiety and panic attacks. If it's not for you, please disregard and know that I only meant well.

    Additionally, I highly recommend meditation. I happen to live in Fairfield, IA which is home of the Transcendental Meditation movement in the US. People travel here to learn to meditate or expand their practice. I learned TM as did my wife. Neither of us practice TM any longer but my wife has a daily meditation practice and I sporadically meditate (I would do better with a daily practice and perhaps this will give me the push to do so). If you're interested in TM, here's a link for resources in Atlanta. I've heard TM described as the McDonald's of meditation in that it's ubiquitous and easy to learn. However, TM may not be for everyone. It was a good starting point for us but we've moved on to other approaches to achieve a similar outcome.
    stevo and Stefan87 like this.
  8. wabash slim

    wabash slim I Bleed Orange

    Feb 10, 2010
    lafayette in
    Be well. We're all in this together.
    Archtops, stevo, Stefan87 and 3 others like this.
  9. Sid Nitzerglobin

    Sid Nitzerglobin Country Gent

    Jun 8, 2015
    Long time anxiety & depression w/ some hints at bipolar here. It's not super helpful to hear for me at many times, but you're not alone man.

    As hard as it can be, I find being as engaged as I can in something that gets me moving is good medicine, even better if you can do that activity w/ someone that understands what you've got going on. Talking has helped too, when I've had the right listener & was able to do it.

    The only pharmaceutical medication I've ever tried (Paxil) had me feeling like I was on a weak & speedy acid trip 24x7 as well as some other pretty lame side effects for me, but it seems like the right med can do some good for the right people. The herbal aromatherapy supplements at the late hours of the day can help for me if I can maintain my focus on an engrossing task, but can also backfire & amplify the creeping dread/negative stuff if I'm in a bad enough spot replaying all the stuff I did "wrong" in the recent &/or distant past or what's going to go wrong in the future.

    I guess the other bit that sounds pretty cliche & corny to many but really tends to work for me is to be here now & in the present moment as much as possible. Things are much better when I can manage to get myself out of my head & stop analyzing when things are bad.
    Last edited: Sep 22, 2021
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  10. Mr Swisher

    Mr Swisher Synchromatic

    Jun 12, 2012
    The fact you are sharing it is a good thing.

    I've always felt calm, stable, laid back. Got an ok job, pays well. Married and live in a great place. Got the guitars I've always wanted and the time to play them. But I often think about my age, and getting ill these days, and when those thoughts are there they can take over my mind easily. My mother and father in law both died around my current age, possibly adding to my aniexty. But I don't feel unhappy, at all.

    About a year ago, I started getting dizzy. No other symptoms just a weird motion, dizzy feeling. Every day for about two months, Not all the time but on and off through afternoons and evenings. Then it went... only to return for extended spells another couple of times. I got glasses (I needed them) but it didn't help. When it was bad I couldn't concentrate on work or playing guitar... but always felt better outside. After my first vaccine I developed headaches for a couple of months and decided to see a private consultant. The headaches went but my consultant was thorough and wanted to get to the bottom of the dizziness. After a brain scan and other tests revealing nothing he diagnosed Pyscogenic Vestibular/ dizziness. Most likely causes, anxiety/stress/depression.

    The dizziness hasn't been present for about 7 weeks now, instead being replaced by constant random pains in my sides and stomach etc.

    Therapy seems to be the most often prescribed answer and although I beleive it'll benefit me.. I've not yet pushed myself to do it. It seems to be the final hurdle, to decide I want to go and talk about all the things I probably should've talked about for 30 years.. but have avoided whilst all the time they've been unknowingly gaining power over me.

    Good luck Stevo.. tomorrow is day 1 on the road to a happier you. It will work.
    stevo, new6659 and Stefan87 like this.
  11. Shock

    Shock Gretschie

    Sep 7, 2020
    Time has a way of making everything ok. This is only going to last for a period of time, then it will pass. Talking with someone, especially that doesn't actually know you that can give you good feedback, is a great idea.
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  12. Stefan87

    Stefan87 Country Gent

    May 20, 2019
    Brisbane, Australia
    I will now second oneforsorrow on the meditation idea as well, that along side of focusing on breathing can help a lot as during anxiety/panic attacks your breathing can become fast and shallow, the hardest part about meditation is not letting your mind run while everything is quiet which can be quite a challenge but once you get that under wraps it can be helpful.

    I was one of those people who thought counsellors/psychologists was a bit over hyped and all that but I will say after actually being in the room and seeing/hearing what they do I am now a believer in the right one.
    stevo, oneforsorrow and Mr Swisher like this.
  13. Stefan87

    Stefan87 Country Gent

    May 20, 2019
    Brisbane, Australia
    What you mention here Mr S is exactly what happened to my wife so I fully understand what you are going through.
    stevo, Mr Swisher and oneforsorrow like this.
  14. Sid Nitzerglobin

    Sid Nitzerglobin Country Gent

    Jun 8, 2015
    Pranayama & walking meditation have seemed to be the most successful approaches for me. Having some physical activity & sensory feedback of movement helps stop the analysis centers of my brain from taking over. Exercise alone usually does good things for brain chemistry as well.
    stevo, Stefan87 and oneforsorrow like this.
  15. Tony65x55

    Tony65x55 Gretschified

    Sep 23, 2011
    The 'Shwa, Ontario, Canada
    Thinking of you, Stevo. Get your favourite guitar, play her and hold her close. They understand and the music will help make things better.
    stevo likes this.
  16. mrfixitmi

    mrfixitmi Country Gent

    Mar 20, 2010
    Stevo, we are all here for you.
    There is nothing to be ashamed of, and I am very proud of you for seeking professional help. The first steps are the hardest ones, so please give yourself credit for taking those steps. Celebrate each successful step, and don't let the backward steps make you think that you are losing progress.
    Having experienced that in my family and my wife's family, this is something that requires patience. Take the time you need. When I was blown up in the Service, there seemed to be more bad news than good. The issue I had little focus on the good, and could not recognize what good looked like. I had no idea I was suffering from anxiety/PTSD. The best advice I got outside of the professionals was from a 74 year vet that seen it all, been there, got many "T"-shirts throughout the years. He said the reality to "healing is always two steps forward, one step back, don't let anyone determine your time bound plan". We are keeping you in our thoughts and prayers...you do have friends here, and you are wise to seek help.
    section2 and stevo like this.
  17. mister rain

    mister rain Gretschie

    Apr 23, 2020
    new orleans
    don’t have time to go into details - and honestly, i’m glad for that - but heck yes i’ve been through that. spent nine of the last twelve months in therapy myself. hang in there, and keep reaching out.
    drmilktruck likes this.
  18. calebaaron666

    calebaaron666 Friend of Fred

    Aug 15, 2018
    Portland, Maine
    Life is short and full of stuff.
    Sometimes it’s really hard. I know a bit about what it’s like to have the dark clouds gather, and not even finding pleasure in my morning coffee.
    The best thing to do in this situation is to reach out for some help, and I commend you for taking that action.
    ruger9, section2 and stevo like this.
  19. gtttrrr

    gtttrrr Country Gent

    Dec 7, 2011
    United States
    Loss can have a profound effect. Hard to conceptualize with any accuracy until you go though it. Some accept it better than others, damned if I know how that works. Still reeling from a loss in 2019, and even from 2010. Acceptance is always within grasp, and appreciation for the small slice of time we all have helps immensely. Important to keep one foot in front of the other, keep on keepin on. Come to the group, go to therapy, fire up some herb, whatever it takes man.
    stevo likes this.
  20. Jeff67

    Jeff67 Country Gent

    Nov 3, 2019
    Crockett, Texas
    My late wife suffered with anxiety, depression, and bipolar. When she and her doctor found the right combination of medications, you would never have known there was a problem. Meds for those conditions don't always work the same for different people, but be patient and hang in there- you and your doc will find the right one or combo if you decide to go that route.
    stevo likes this.
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