Audept becomes "The Guinea Pig"

Discussion in 'Fred's Barcalounge' started by audept, Dec 4, 2020.

  1. audept

    audept Senior Gretsch-Talker

    Dec 1, 2010
    Sydney, Australia
    This last month I have been subjected to several medical tests and procedures in my ongoing quest for increased life expectancy.

    2 days ago I had a Panendoscopy and the results were very encouraging. I have had 3 close encounters with the big C and it now appears I have beaten them all. The internal polyps have not returned, the Melanoma has not returned and the Paratoid gland was removed just in time while it was still pre-cancerous.

    My doctors are over the moon with the results and obviously so am I.

    The docs are very impressed with my strong immune system, blood chemistry and fast healing ability. When I had the Partial Paratoidectomy I was told that the facial nerves would take a year to reconnect. Instead it has taken less than 12 weeks.

    I have been invited to be a test subject for experimental drugs and treatments and I have accepted and signed the consent documents.

    So now I am an official test subject and carry a special card in my wallet in case I have to be admitted to a medical facility. I did not take this decision lightly but I want to help with medical research in any way I can.

    I am now happy to be known as “The Guinea Pig” (at least it’s more appealing than “Laboratory Mouse”)

    @drmilktruck : Jim I’m sending you a PM with some private info that you may find interesting.
  2. new6659

    new6659 Country Gent

    Good for you!
    audept likes this.
  3. Tony65x55

    Tony65x55 Gretschified

    Sep 23, 2011
    The 'Shwa, Ontario, Canada
    Wonderful news, my friend. I'm so glad to see your health returning.
    audept likes this.
  4. section2

    section2 Country Gent

    Dec 21, 2016
    So glad to hear you're doing well. And good for you for volunteering as a test subject. You're doing a good thing for the world.
    MotorCentaur and audept like this.
  5. dlew919

    dlew919 Country Gent

    Jul 18, 2016
    Sydney, Australia
    Agreed vehemently with the responses.
    audept likes this.
  6. wabash slim

    wabash slim Gretschified

    Feb 10, 2010
    lafayette in
    Be well, my friend, even if they treat you like a lab rat.
    audept likes this.
  7. tartanphantom

    tartanphantom Friend of Fred

    Jul 30, 2008
    Murfreesboro, TN
    Considering where you live, you're just one land mass away from being a "New Guinea Pig". :D

    Very glad things seem to be going your way-- hope you stick around for a long, long time.
    drmilktruck, ishtar and audept like this.
  8. G5422T

    G5422T Country Gent

    May 24, 2012
    "Long May You Run."

    Great news on the health.
    ishtar and audept like this.
  9. audept

    audept Senior Gretsch-Talker

    Dec 1, 2010
    Sydney, Australia
    I prefer to think of myself as "Lab Mouse" :D
    radd, ishtar and wabash slim like this.
  10. audept

    audept Senior Gretsch-Talker

    Dec 1, 2010
    Sydney, Australia
    ishtar likes this.
  11. mbkri

    mbkri Country Gent

    Sep 22, 2012
    Superb update my friend!
    I’d like to have my paranoid gland checked out too....but whenever i go to the doctor I’m pretty sure they are filming me and recording everything i say.
  12. Penguin

    Penguin Country Gent

    Nov 20, 2011
    Sydney, Australia
    Great news all round mate!
    audept likes this.
  13. nickurso

    nickurso Gretschified

    Dec 24, 2012
    New Orleans la.
    Glad you are doing well and have beaten the big C. And glad to hear you are helping in the testing of medicine. Good luck to you
    audept likes this.
  14. audept

    audept Senior Gretsch-Talker

    Dec 1, 2010
    Sydney, Australia
    If I had any $$$ left after the medical bills I could buy another Gretsch to celebrate! :)
    nickurso, ishtar and JeffreyLeePierre like this.
  15. Ricochet

    Ricochet Senior Gretsch-Talker

    Nov 13, 2009
    Monkey Island
    Always good to hear from you Wyn. I hope they're onto something good!
    audept likes this.
  16. JeffreyLeePierre

    JeffreyLeePierre Country Gent

    You should have traded your new status against a new Gretsch :D

    I had a parotidectomy long time ago as the gland had started growing. The concern is that a facial nerve comes down from the brain and splits in several branches right in the middle of the gland. Then the surgeon actually has to peel the gland around all these nerve branches in order to tear the gland off. And the average recovery time in case you cut a nerve is 1 month per 1cm distance to the brain. Which is about 10 to 12 month for a cut at the bottom of the face. That's what I had been told prior to the surgery (while signing off a paper stating I would not sue the surgeon in case he would happen to cut the nerve).

    After I woke up, the surgeon visited me and was scrutating my face while speaking to me, trying to find out tangible result of the branch he had inadvertently cut. That was well hidden, it was a branch triggering unconscious moves of the right part of bottom lip. Then I observed 2 things:
    - if I deliberately smiled, there was no visible difference, but if I was unintentionally laughing out loud, the right part of my mouth was remaining fixed. Then the two moves are so different that it's not the same nerve which is acting.
    - when you open your mouth to eat something with a fork or spoon, you unconsciously lower your lip. And I was no longer. Man I got so many ties and shirts dirty during that year...

    And there's another secondary effect which I still have: when taking off that saliva gland, the surgeon leaves an orphan nerve, the one which triggers salivation reflex. It may occur that the nerves searches a new sister-gland and sets his connection to some temple sweat gland. Then for more that 20 years now, everytime I eat something, I sweat at the right temple. So much that I must soak up many times during every meal.
    The cure apparently consists in curare ointment, but I decided I did not want to have curare applied that close to my brain. Then I still sweat when eating.
    Last edited: Dec 5, 2020
  17. Floo

    Floo Country Gent

    Dec 16, 2012
    Elmshorn, Germany
    Good news about your health - I can imagine positive aspects from owning and playing Gretsch guitars and a good dose of Pinot Noir.
    audept likes this.
  18. audept

    audept Senior Gretsch-Talker

    Dec 1, 2010
    Sydney, Australia
    In my case, after the surgeon peeled my face back he inserted electrodes to apply a very small current to stimulate the nerves during the entire operation. This is how he could tell if they had severed any nerves. It was a 2 hour operation to prepare the site and the growth was only removed in the last 10 minutes.
    JeffreyLeePierre likes this.
  19. audept

    audept Senior Gretsch-Talker

    Dec 1, 2010
    Sydney, Australia
    Thanks, Rich! I feel like I should have bought a lottery ticket this week while I'm on a winning streak!
    ishtar and Ricochet like this.
  20. thunder58

    thunder58 Super Moderator Staff Member

    Dec 23, 2010
    tappan ny
    Admin Post
    Lets hope it's a long long time my friend . Wonderful news Wyn , wonderful
    audept likes this.
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