A deal is a deal, some people just don't honor a hand shake deal

Discussion in 'Fred's Barcalounge' started by Stefan87, May 3, 2021.

  1. Waxhead

    Waxhead Country Gent

    Aug 30, 2014
    Australia
    Bad luck Stefan but that kind of behaviour is pretty normal in Australia now imo.
    When searching for my Mesa TA-15 for 8 months the exact same thing hapenned to me twice.
    And I've had Aussie criminals and thieves harassing me continuously for past 5 years on other matters.

    You're 20 years younger than me and I can report there's been a large and steady decline in honesty, integrity and personal ethics in Aussies over past 20 years. I have a theory as to why but it's better off left to a PM. Suffice to say the old Aussie cultural ethic of "a fair go for all" died about 20 years ago.
    I don't trust anyone here now :(
     
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  2. Stefan87

    Stefan87 Country Gent

    May 20, 2019
    Brisbane, Australia
    Thanks for the kind comments guys and it's just a shame that things go this way in the world, but like I say to my wife ' you can only control your own actions not anyone elses'.

    Look I'm not mad at the seller as I don't feel he did anything to do me over I just got the feeling he doesn't sell many used items and just a bit 'green' with it all, I'm just gutted how it ended up, if it was me then I would've put all other enquiries for the guitar on hold and take numbers incase the sale fell through, the fact I had already made the deal should have meant I was first priority and no one else should've been even looking at the guitar with out him at least messaging me or calling me to say he was getting a lot of interest and give me the chance to raise my offer instead of selling it out from under me that is how I go about everything I sell, I was as transparent and honest with him with everything before we made the deal and he was happy with it all I even sent him a message when I got home from looking at it saying thanks for the guitar how excited I was to buy it and I'd keep him posted with collecting it on Tuesday but any way not much more I can do now.

    Funnily enough though from all the years I have bought and sold used things privately I must say that the last 6-9 months has been the absolute worst time for being messed around, I've very rarely every been stood up buy buyers or had deals lost to this type of stuff in the years past but lately it has been terrible, I've had many people not make good on deals or just not show up, had one guy bail on something even with 2 attempts to save the sale with no reply but could see he read the message and then come back to me wanting it again after I had committed to someone else and then say that he feels like he was hard done by, then another guy string me out for a $50.00 item for 2 months saying he come and get it but couldn't find the time and only paid up after I said I was going to post it too him for an extra $10 or it's going to another buyer and then still took a week to pay me.

    I'll get 'that' Tele one day lol for now I'm grateful for what I do own so not going to complain too much.
     
  3. amp360

    amp360 Gretschie

    495
    Oct 21, 2012
    Maryland
    I think you’re the one who is green about selling.

    Someone tells you they want it but don’t have the money. Maybe they even offer you a deposit. Ten minutes later someone says they can be there in a little while cash in hand. As a seller who has dealt with all the flakes out on the internet I know who I’m selling to.
     
  4. Henry

    Henry I Bleed Orange

    Apr 9, 2014
    Petaluma
    That totally sucks. He should have been up front . . . if someone offers me more by the time you gather funds, I'll sell it to someone else.

    Aren't there e payment options like venmo, etc.?
     
    Stefan87 likes this.
  5. OzzPocket

    OzzPocket Gretschie

    455
    Aug 11, 2020
    NYS
    I feel for you and wish people would honor what they say they will honor.....but....if it "ain't" in writing, then there's not much you can do other than try to (somehow) put a positive spin on it, and learn your lesson for next time.

    Having said that....I hope Karma gets you another one sooner rather than later ;-)
     
    Stefan87 likes this.
  6. Stefan87

    Stefan87 Country Gent

    May 20, 2019
    Brisbane, Australia
    With all due respect amp360 I have been buying and selling stuff privately for about 20 years from car parts to music instruments in all sorts of fields eg online, paper adds, swap meets and all that, have also done a training module on contract management if we want to go that far as I work in sales for a living.

    I get what you are saying but in this instance I was 100% upfront with everything before the deal was done, I told him the situation, banks aren't open on weekends so can't do anything there, he was ok with everything then agreed on the price, offered a deposit but he said was ok and not to worry about, so the details of the sale/verbal contract were put forward and agreed upon verbally with a hand shake to seal it at the end (which I know only means as much as the individual word can mean). Now if there were any issues regarding price then I would've paid the asking price but he agreed on that, if there was any issues with money up front then he could've said that and I could've work around that if need be but again he agreed to payment on Tuesday, this was all done in person and not over messages on the internet or anything like that.

    So in my eyes that deal is done end of the story for those who honor their word, now I know the world isn't like that but if I've missed something because I'm 'green' to selling then by all means please let me know, not meaning for this to come across angry or having a go just to me it's pretty straight forward.
     
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  7. Stefan87

    Stefan87 Country Gent

    May 20, 2019
    Brisbane, Australia
    That's all I would've asked for and if I couldn't make it work then I would've bowed out respectfully and let it go but not even being given the option sucked a bit.

    I'm not really over a lot of payment options these days but if it was a problem with waiting then I would've understood and gone about it accordingly.
     
  8. lathoto

    lathoto Synchromatic

    657
    Apr 23, 2020
    Ohio
    A $200 dollar guitar lesson. If it was in mint condition, it was worth the asking price. The buyer proved that. When he didn't take the deposit, the deal was off the table. If you really wanted the guitar you would have not asked for a 15% discount up front knowing you were the first one to look at it. What he saw was a $200 handshake that might show up Tuesday with only $900 dollars.

    Caveat emptor.
     
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  9. Stefan87

    Stefan87 Country Gent

    May 20, 2019
    Brisbane, Australia
    I don't disagree with what you are saying, the offer was said politely and in good humor to the words of 'I have to at least ask the question, would you take $1000.00 or are you firm on the asking price?' I wasn't rude or condescending, I even said to him that I'm not the type of person who will let someone sell something that they don't know what they have and explained to him what the model was, what the year was, why I was chasing that model in particular and double checked he was fine with everything numerous times before leaving the house.

    Again not bad mouthing the seller or saying he was a bad person just would've liked to at least been given heads up with any changes of something we had already agreed on, that's all.

    I know it's private sales and there are no rules or anything like that and not saying I got cheated out of anything more just venting about an experience that could've seen what I believe an outcome where everyone could've gotten what they wanted with no hard feelings.
     
  10. Stefan87

    Stefan87 Country Gent

    May 20, 2019
    Brisbane, Australia
    Will also say too that I was a bit worked up when I posted the OP so shot from the hip a bit, have calmed down now, let it go and have learnt from it :D.
     
  11. amp360

    amp360 Gretschie

    495
    Oct 21, 2012
    Maryland
    I feel your frustration op but with selling anything if someone shows up with cash they’re going to sell it to the person. Time is money and most potential buyers are flakes.

    sorry it didn’t work out but there will be other guitars.
     
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  12. Stefan87

    Stefan87 Country Gent

    May 20, 2019
    Brisbane, Australia
    I do agree with you and totally understand that's what happened here and where my downfalls were, all in all they are just materialistic things at the end of the day and it's not like it was anything of any particular importance, just a good deal.

    Side note I hope you end up with ES345/ES350 you are chasing.
     
  13. amp360

    amp360 Gretschie

    495
    Oct 21, 2012
    Maryland
    Thanks I bought one last weekend
     
  14. Waxhead

    Waxhead Country Gent

    Aug 30, 2014
    Australia
    Put it down to experience and loss of innocence Stefan.
    I think the only tiny thing you could have done different is insist he take $200 deposit.
    Then return with full cash real fast.

    But the world is full of $%^& heads and growing by the day.

    Hey we should start a listing of songs about rip-offs and dodgy people.
    Here's my start off - a classic Mark Knopfler one - the lyrics are great "dog eat dog, rat eat rat" etc :)

    <iframe width="560" height="315" src="" title="YouTube video player" frameborder="0" allow="accelerometer; autoplay; clipboard-write; encrypted-media; gyroscope; picture-in-picture" allowfullscreen></iframe>
     
    Last edited: May 3, 2021
    Stefan87 likes this.
  15. DennisC

    DennisC Country Gent

    Age:
    38
    May 11, 2017
    Germany
    I agree to some degree. A handshake, a word, should be taken serious. It's a matter of self-respect, not only, but first of all.

    But ... was this truly any better in times gone by? That, I doubt. People sucked back then, people suck today, and they'll still suck long after any of us is gone...
     
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  16. stevo

    stevo Friend of Fred

    May 1, 2012
    Atlanta
    Probably very right. Getting swindled isn't new.
     
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  17. Sabato

    Sabato Country Gent

    Mar 22, 2019
    Massachusetts
    I'm probably in a minority, but that shouldn't be the case. If I agree to sell you X for Y and someone then offers Y++, I feel bound to say, "Sorry, I have already accepted an offer, but if that falls through then it's yours."
     
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  18. Waxhead

    Waxhead Country Gent

    Aug 30, 2014
    Australia
    I don't know about Germany Dennis but in Australia it's changed big time the past 20 years imo.
    And most of my friends agree.

    Whilst people have always sucked the level of honesty, integrity and personal ethics has taken a huge dive here.
    And in all walks of life too - in the work place, business, social areas, politics, sports - everywhere.
    Even our national cricket team got caught here deliberately cheating in a game against Sth Africa a few years ago

    Australia used to pride itself on being the land of a "fair go for all".
    Self respect for most people went missing 20 years ago here - I hope Germany is different.

    Now it's just rat eat rat, can't trust anyone, almost everyone lies.
    Got to the stage here that no-one expects anyone to tell the truth anymore.

    And appears it's so normal to most they don't equate it with self respect either.
    And if you do, you're treated like an old fashioned dinosaur from a bygone era.....

    So here's my next classic "honesty" song :rolleyes::p

    <iframe width="560" height="315" src="" title="YouTube video player" frameborder="0" allow="accelerometer; autoplay; clipboard-write; encrypted-media; gyroscope; picture-in-picture" allowfullscreen></iframe>
     
    Last edited: May 4, 2021
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  19. Sabato

    Sabato Country Gent

    Mar 22, 2019
    Massachusetts
    Why do you suppose that is so? I can only think that some sort of shortages would make people lower their standards in terms of survival.
    My father used to say, for how much would you sell your integrity, a hundred, no, a thousand, no, a million, maybe....
     
    Stefan87 likes this.
  20. Skydog

    Skydog Gretschie

    264
    Dec 19, 2014
    Indiana
    I don't blame the seller one bit; there's so many strokers out there ready to shaft you. You had no binding contract with him and if he held up a sale for your low offer he had no recourse if you baled.
     
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