What would you fine your bass player for doing Ha!

Discussion in 'Fred's Barcalounge' started by Bass guy, Jul 17, 2019.

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  1. Bass guy

    Bass guy Electromatic

    As a bassist, I found it funny to read a joke about what bandmates should "fine" their bassist for doing. I revised the 'list' a bit. I am sharing it with all Gretschians for a laugh. Please chime in with new penalty amounts, and/or infractions. You folks are guitar players, and I am sure your bassist drives you nuts some times (and vice versa - ha)!

    General Infractions and
    Amount
    Playing loudly during warm up $10
    Sound -checking amp with funk slapping $25
    Asking for "E" tuning note $250
    Playing above 1st octave - immediate dismissal
    Dragging ballad tempo $100
    Blacking out during ballad $200
    Ignoring drummer's tempo $400

    IN CONCERT and Amount
    Checking hair between tunes $30
    Missing root after blistering fill $150
    Playing with a pick $50 (unless you are Carol Kaye)
    Tuning during ballad $35
    Playing Jaco groove on samba $75
    Playing Jaco samba groove on ballad $150
    Forgetting strap $150
    Changing flatwound strings between sets $100
    Setting up mic "just in case" $300
    Forgetting to turn amp on $75
    Bringing amp larger than you can move yourself $150
    Bringing custom made bass -- $100 per string above 4
    Skull decals on bass $150
    Bringing fretless bass $500 (unless you are Jaco's son or a genius)

    BAD TASTE/STUPIDITY and Amount
    Practicing scales during drum solo $150
    Beginning a sentence, "When I was a guitar player..." $75
    Continually asking, "Where are we?" $75
    Continually shouting, "Yeah!" $50
    Taking cell phone call during fours $1000 or discretionary dismissal
     
  2. Charlie westside

    Charlie westside Country Gent

    Jul 27, 2018
    Sylmar Califirnia
    These are funny :D
    We auditioned and hired a guy that was an incredible Bass player.
    We were a pot free band and let him know it. Didn't care if he smoked but not before or during rehearsals and giggs. There was a club in So. Cal.
    called Stage West. Loved our music and gave us an entire night at their club. The owner strictly enforced his no Pot in the Club policy. So the guy was toking it up in the dressing room.
    The club owner was not a happy camper. He liked us so he didn't toss us and a lot of folks came to see us.
    We recieved a percentage of the bar tab. In the late 80's 2000.00 was unheard of so. Considering there was 5 of us we split the 2000 4 ways. His fine was playing for free. We didn't see him again after that. :eek:
     
    Hammerhands likes this.
  3. Bass guy

    Bass guy Electromatic

    Maybe he thought he was joining a Reggae band? Kidding! And absolutely no dissing of Reggae intended!
     
    Charlie westside likes this.
  4. wildeman

    wildeman Gretschified

    May 10, 2015
    norcal
    Showing up with new dreadlocks......$500.00
     
  5. Waxhead

    Waxhead Country Gent

    Aug 30, 2014
    Australia
    Well Bass Guy - it's the exact opposite in Australia :)

    Bass players here as so thin on the ground they rule the band roost.
    If anybody remotely upsets a bass player (or drummer) here they will ditch you instantly and go to another band. Then you're totally stuffed and might take you months to find a good bass player.

    Dime a dozen guitar players are the one's likely to get fined and ditched here and then good luck trying to find another good band. And we have to constantly pull egotistical lead singers into line and remind them to only ever compliment the bassist and drummer. Otherwise we'll ditch the lead singer :)
     
  6. audept

    audept Senior Gretsch-Talker

    Age:
    71
    Dec 1, 2010
    Sydney, Australia
  7. What was the last thing the bass player said before being fired? “Check out this song I wrote “. You can exchange drummer for bassist. It’s truly a universal truth.
     
  8. wabash slim

    wabash slim Friend of Fred

    Age:
    69
    Feb 10, 2010
    lafayette in
    My favorite ad for a bass player read, "No black T-shirt/blue jeans types."
     
    blueruins likes this.
  9. ramjac

    ramjac Gretschie

    213
    Aug 14, 2011
    Wisconsin
    I think that might have been placed by David Gilmour.

    [​IMG]
     

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    dlew919, sh4rkbyt3, Waxhead and 2 others like this.
  10. blueruins

    blueruins Country Gent

    May 28, 2013
    Savannah, GA
    Bringing a pedalboard. $200
     
  11. Henry

    Henry Gretschified

    Apr 9, 2014
    Petaluma
    Forgetting the power cord and extra cable for the board, $500.
     
    dlew919 and blueruins like this.
  12. Poeticas

    Poeticas Electromatic

    59
    Jun 24, 2019
    Florida
    Dayum, $2k for a gig? Most I ever made was $250!
     
    Charlie westside likes this.
  13. thunder58

    thunder58 I Bleed Orange

    Age:
    60
    Dec 23, 2010
    tappan ny
    Just showing up .....$650
     
  14. loudnlousy

    loudnlousy Friend of Fred

    Age:
    53
    Oct 18, 2015
    Hildesheim, Germany
    My bassist is one of the most disciplined and serious persons I ever met.
    Maybe that is the reason why we are still playing together for nearly fourty years.
     
  15. Charlie westside

    Charlie westside Country Gent

    Jul 27, 2018
    Sylmar Califirnia
    Sounds crazy. The owner of that place thought we would make it big. He was punishing us. He wanted to manage us. Seems like a weird joke now
     
  16. Funky54

    Funky54 Gretschie

    284
    Aug 12, 2010
    Florida
    I played with a guy who used a 7 string he made and would bring a thousand watts with 8 tens....
    Muddy
     
  17. hcsterg

    hcsterg Country Gent

    Feb 13, 2012
    France
    Here's our Bass player live - my pal Sergio. Which fine ? Maybe because he uses his Squier Jazz Bass ?



    :D

    A+!
     
    blueruins and Stencil like this.
  18. GlenP

    GlenP Electromatic

    90
    Jul 23, 2019
    WA
    I have thought about learning to play bass, but trying to sing and play bass at the same time is a totally new challenge compared to playing guitar and singing at the same time. Not sure how Sir Paul does it, or Sting, or Geddy, or Peter Cetera. I can fingerstyle guitar and sing, but on bass there must be a totally different part of the brain you have to train to do that.
     
    Last edited: Jul 23, 2019
    Stencil likes this.
  19. hcsterg

    hcsterg Country Gent

    Feb 13, 2012
    France
    Well, I tried to play bass, with a Squier LH VM 70s Jazz Bass. It lasted barely 3 months, killing my fingers. Bass is not for me, definetly. My pal Sergio (our bassman) said that I should have insisted... No way.

    A+!
     
  20. Bass guy

    Bass guy Electromatic

    Great to read all these replies. I tried harmonica and bass together for about one hour. I aborted the adventure. I would surely be fined or drummed out of the band given my inability to combine the two! Speaking of “drumming”, it just so happens that a bass player friend of mine and his band’s drummer quit their band. The offender that should have been “fined or dismissed” in this case was the lead singer’s wife. She got “lead-singer’s spouse syndrome” and started changing the “musical direction” of the band. (I thought that was up to the band members????) Anyways, it was nice to see that the drummer and bassist were both musically “tight” and good friends, because they quit the band together and slotted into a Better group. Long live good rhythm sections!
     
    audept likes this.
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