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Tired of being band dad

Discussion in 'THE Gretsch Discussion Forum' started by toddr513, Nov 12, 2017.

  1. Henry

    Henry Friend of Fred

    Apr 9, 2014
    Petaluma
    To me, that's the crux. If your band is a business, then the guys doing more work, or bringing more money, should be paid more. If the other bandmates object, then ask them what they want to charge to start doing that extra work.
     
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  2. A-Zed

    A-Zed Electromatic

    11
    Jun 15, 2017
    Canberra Australia
    When I showed my older brother (70) how to use GarageBand he said “Hmm, so you’re playing with yourself”.


    I Googled my symptoms. I just needed more guitars.
     
  3. Axis39

    Axis39 Country Gent

    Age:
    49
    Jun 2, 2008
    Falmouth, Va
    Too many communists in music! Maybe we're all idealists coming to grips with the facts of life? :D
     
  4. Henry

    Henry Friend of Fred

    Apr 9, 2014
    Petaluma
    My favorite joke. Hope it's not too political.

    In capitalism, one person exploits another. In socialism, it's the other way around.
     
    Last edited: Nov 13, 2017
    benjwri, ronbo, Axis39 and 6 others like this.
  5. hogrider16

    hogrider16 Electromatic

    41
    Oct 18, 2017
    charles town wv
    One band I'm in the husband and wife take a cut for booking and providing PA. I'm happy to give it to them. I walk in, set up myself, play and leave. Another band hires production and has been together long enough that booking isn't a problem. Again, I walk in, set up, play, then leave.

    I'm done being dad.
     
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  6. Tony65x55

    Tony65x55 Gretschified

    Age:
    61
    Sep 23, 2011
    The 'Shwa, Ontario, Canada
    That's fantastic.
     
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  7. NickGretsch

    NickGretsch Synchromatic

    856
    Aug 30, 2011
    Cornwall, England
    I love it too....

    Not quite a band dad although in my current band I am the oldest member and not something I'm used to. Do share responsibilities for getting gigs, transporting and carrying the PA as well as our own gear with my pal, the other guitarist.
    In fairness the bass player and drummer might help out sometimes but there's no cohesive plan, the only one is I useually lug that heavy stuff on my own and nearing 68 it sometimes sticks in my throats a bit. But it's my choice, I could call it a day but think I'd miss the playing and singing too much. Oh yes, I'm the singer in the band too. For anyone else who does do all the singing (and we play for anything up the three hours without a break) you'll know how taxing and tiring it is.

    I'll stop moaning and feeling sorry for myself now lol hahahahaha - because as the saying goes, 'if you can't stand the heat get out of the kitchen'
     
    russmack likes this.
  8. Gretschman2

    Gretschman2 Country Gent

    Age:
    64
    Apr 8, 2013
    Enetai, WA
    These days I play a lot with the guys in "Band in a Box" and nobody in there gives me any lip or trouble.
     
    Last edited: Nov 14, 2017
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  9. Les PaltaX

    Les PaltaX Electromatic

    50
    Nov 8, 2017
    Chile
    I just want to say... Being a band dad has (usually) NOTHING to do with age !! Keep that in mind.

    Exceptions are, for example, when because of the age you're the only one allowed to drive a car
     
    benjwri likes this.
  10. JHowdy

    JHowdy Country Gent

    Age:
    52
    Nov 16, 2013
    Finland
    I'm a band grandpa, I've started forgetting things.
     
  11. Byron

    Byron Gretschie

    336
    Sep 4, 2009
    uk
    Here’s my 2 cents. Decide how far you’re willing to go then put the brakes on. That’s enough guys! Plus you have to assess how much you expect from band members. If they prove unreliable, walk away, it’s a waste of your time...and respect. I’ve dumped really talented band members cos they aren’t worth the stress. I wish they were reading this. But they aren’t. But I know they aren’t in a band either
     
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  12. buzzanderson

    buzzanderson Gretschie

    Age:
    61
    148
    Jan 19, 2015
    Centreville, VA
    Oh, I see. Actually, I was once the other kind of band dad. Our older son played with some talented guys back in high school. One day, after dropping him off at the drummer's house, my wife asked why they always practiced at his place. It didn't seem fair that his mother had to host all the time and buy all the pizza and soda. I told her it was because the drums were there, and that drums are a lot more trouble to haul around and set up than guitars. She asked if we couldn't get a drum set. Well, I told her we could get not just drums, but a PA and mics, too. Gear is all good. They later added a keyboardist and, yep, more cool stuff came home. Our other kids have benefitted from the instruments, and we have a nice music room. I, too, have put it to use, hacking away with my buddies over many years now.
     
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  13. Pdnlegs

    Pdnlegs Country Gent

    Age:
    31
    May 28, 2016
    Oklahoma
    Everyone should take care of their own gear.

    We practice at the Churh Saturday nights. Currently our band is very small and I am on the only one that has gear to lug back and forth. The piano player tells me every week I should just leave it at the church. No way that would ever happen. A i play at home. B the last leader left his guitar there and came back to a broken headstock. C the church has been broke into a few times and I ain't leaving my rig there. Might not be the most impressive but it's still over a $2k rig. Also large temperature changes in there because they turn the air off when no one is there.
     
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  14. Pdnlegs

    Pdnlegs Country Gent

    Age:
    31
    May 28, 2016
    Oklahoma
    That broken guitar ended up getting filled with tannerite and getting blown up lol. Then he borrowed my acoustic for the next two years.
     
    Last edited: Nov 14, 2017
  15. wabash slim

    wabash slim Country Gent

    Age:
    68
    Feb 10, 2010
    lafayette in
    Churches around here get broken into too often. One has had their external AC units stolen repeatedly for the copper. Instruments and other electronic gear gets taken, then, a couple of months later, all of the new replacement gear gets stolen. No one will ever admit that they damaged someone's gear. Take care of your own stuff. Trust no one.
     
    Bertotti likes this.
  16. LivingMyDream

    LivingMyDream Country Gent

    Yeah, other than instruments (and I was loaning a bass and a couple of guitars at one point), I'm the one that has the extra gear necessary for the band to sound their best (extra cables, extension cords, monitor speakers, guitar stands, and pedals), and I don't ever leave things at the church. In the 6 1/2 years that I've been at the church, we've never had a break-in, but with glass double doors at 2 entrances it is always a possibility.
     
  17. wabash slim

    wabash slim Country Gent

    Age:
    68
    Feb 10, 2010
    lafayette in
    I worked at a major university. We'd joke that things just grew legs and walked away, went walkabout, or were Borged by the video department. We lost $30K worth of tools the summer we were rehabbing the stage and rigging. One group of students that held an annual summer convention would routinely steal everything that wasn't nailed or bolted down. They started bringing tools. Students stole good sized statuary---300 pounds worth of marble carving, bronze pieces, the dedication plaque from our big theater.

    People will steal anything and everything. Case in point---porch pirates. They have no way of knowing, most of the time, what's in the box, but they'll still take it. In broad daylight. If they can't use it or sell it, they'll just trash it. They can get in almost anywhere. Gun shop got hit a couple of months ago---they drove a stolen truck thru the side wall. Ingenious little bastiges.

    As to being the Band Dad--- Don't you hate being the responsible adult all of the time? My first car was a '60 Stude wagon, just so I could haul my gear and some others' as well. I built my first PA gear. The only thing the singer brought was a blonde.
     
  18. Tony65x55

    Tony65x55 Gretschified

    Age:
    61
    Sep 23, 2011
    The 'Shwa, Ontario, Canada
    Ya, but, was she... never mind.

    :)
     
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  19. Rob Williams

    Rob Williams Country Gent

    Jul 5, 2014
    SE QLD
    Oh that's another can of worms. Women in bands....well.
    I love a female voice, but every band I've played in with women has ended up crashing. Last night at a rehearsal for another band I play in (not TZP) we had 3 female singers as they want to sing a few numbers at the next gig (they're hiring us for their church Xmas Party). While I'm fine with that, and they have lovely voices and aren't hard to look at, I could FEEL the whole dynamic of the band change. It was laughable. Now, because of my past experiences/relationships/bands I could see clearly what was going on (the guys falling all over themselves to accommodate and praise) I just don't think they realised it. I stay polite and friendly but I just felt like saying to the other guys "it's ok, calm down, they're not going to sleep with you, so just concentrate on the music!" *eyes roll*
    What's really funny is later that night they left and a promoter came to have a look at our band....and that changed the dynamic even more. Who knows, maybe I should be more of a suck-up?? All I know is I'm me, wherever you find me. These guys weren't. Rant over, please continue....
     
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  20. wabash slim

    wabash slim Country Gent

    Age:
    68
    Feb 10, 2010
    lafayette in
    I dated his sister for awhile.
     
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