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Jokes thread

Discussion in 'Fred's Barcalounge' started by audept, Jul 5, 2018.

  1. wabash slim

    wabash slim Friend of Fred

    Age:
    68
    Feb 10, 2010
    lafayette in
    If he's waterskiing, he's Skip!
    On the porch, he's Matt.

    He was upset because he loved baseball, but couldn't play sports. They made him 2nd base.
     
  2. Sarah93003

    Sarah93003 Friend of Fred

    Dude, I would totally have watched this over and over in the 1970's.
     
    Howard hughes likes this.
  3. wabash slim

    wabash slim Friend of Fred

    Age:
    68
    Feb 10, 2010
    lafayette in
    pmac11, Flouswa and MarkyMac like this.
  4. Flouswa

    Flouswa Gretschie

    pmac11 and audept like this.
  5. Flouswa

    Flouswa Gretschie

    What do you call two guys with no arms/no legs that hang around the window? Curt and Rod
     
    pmac11, larryb, audept and 2 others like this.
  6. audept

    audept I Bleed Orange

    Age:
    70
    Dec 1, 2010
    Sydney, Australia
    Bass players are important. Somebody has to buy the group van! :p
     
  7. audept

    audept I Bleed Orange

    Age:
    70
    Dec 1, 2010
    Sydney, Australia
    band members who get chicks.jpg instrument attraction.jpg
     
  8. Howard hughes

    Howard hughes Gretschie

    Age:
    38
    240
    Mar 22, 2018
    London
    hahaha i think i can gess why? hmm i think ill leave it a mystery for now.....
     
    Sarah93003 likes this.
  9. stevemorrison

    stevemorrison Synchromatic

    587
    Jun 3, 2011
    Dundee, SCOTLAND
    From the resident bass player all I can say is BASTARDS !! :p:D
     
    benjwri, pmac11, drmilktruck and 3 others like this.
  10. somebodyelseuk

    somebodyelseuk Synchromatic

    786
    Jan 22, 2013
    Birmingham, UK
    Woman walks in to a bar and asks for a double entendre....
    ... so the barman gave her one.

    It was an amicable divorce. We split the house 50/50...
    ...she got the inside.

    Swedish bloke walks in to a pharmacists(?) and asks for deoderant.
    "Ball or aerosol" asks the assistant.
    "No, it's for my armpits."

    In the spirit of this one...

    Guitar polish.
     
    Dave-B, pmac11, LivingMyDream and 3 others like this.
  11. larryb

    larryb Gretschified

    Age:
    49
    Oct 29, 2012
    Greenville, SC
    Loved it! One question Howard: Since this was made with your "swedish girlfriend", do you have other videos with your other girlfriends?:p:p:p;)
     
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  12. Howard hughes

    Howard hughes Gretschie

    Age:
    38
    240
    Mar 22, 2018
    London
    hahaha good point! but who doesnt want to see a hot swedish girl in stockings!?
     
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  13. larryb

    larryb Gretschified

    Age:
    49
    Oct 29, 2012
    Greenville, SC
    LOL! She is very pretty!;)
     
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  14. MikeyUK

    MikeyUK Synchromatic

    524
    Dec 15, 2016
    Rochdale, GB
    i think you mean "What do you call a chinese girl with one leg longer than the other"?
     
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  15. englishman

    englishman Gretschified

    Age:
    60
    Apr 5, 2014
    Detroit
    Well, I was trying not to be offensive :)
     
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  16. larryb

    larryb Gretschified

    Age:
    49
    Oct 29, 2012
    Greenville, SC
    He,he,he...
     
    Flouswa likes this.
  17. stevemorrison

    stevemorrison Synchromatic

    587
    Jun 3, 2011
    Dundee, SCOTLAND
    Q: Why did the one handed man cross the road?
    A: To get to the 2nd hand shop.

    Q. How do you figure out who the guitar player is at a party?
    A. He'll tell you

    Q - How do you get a guitarist to play softer?
    A - Give him sheet music to read.

    Q - What's black and blue and laying in a ditch?
    A - A guitarist who's told too many bass player jokes.
     
    somebodyelseuk, Wozob, pmac11 and 5 others like this.
  18. wabash slim

    wabash slim Friend of Fred

    Age:
    68
    Feb 10, 2010
    lafayette in
    How many flies does it take to screw in a light bulb?
    Only two, but I'll be damned if I know how they got in there.