Jokes thread

Discussion in 'Fred's Barcalounge' started by audept, Jul 5, 2018.

  1. stevemorrison

    stevemorrison Synchromatic

    744
    Jun 3, 2011
    Dundee, SCOTLAND
    How do you keep an idiot in suspense?























    I will tell you tomorrow
     
  2. Bertotti

    Bertotti Country Gent

    Jul 20, 2017
    South Dakota
    What do you call a snowman in July?


    A Puddle
     
  3. larryb

    larryb Gretschified

    Age:
    50
    Oct 29, 2012
    Greenville, SC
    What kind of vegetable can you use to change a tire?
    A-spar-a-gus
     
    LivingMyDream and stevemorrison like this.
  4. audept

    audept Senior Gretsch-Talker

    Age:
    72
    Dec 1, 2010
    Sydney, Australia
  5. StratocasterKid

    StratocasterKid Electromatic

    50
    Jul 4, 2018
    shreveport
    How many psychiatrists does it take to change a light bulb...... Just one but the bulb has to want to change
     
  6. StratocasterKid

    StratocasterKid Electromatic

    50
    Jul 4, 2018
    shreveport
    How many psychiatrists does it take to change a light bulb...... Just one but the bulb has to want to change
     
    Flouswa likes this.
  7. StratocasterKid

    StratocasterKid Electromatic

    50
    Jul 4, 2018
    shreveport
    Why did the scientist disconnect his doorbell? He wanted to win the nobel prize
     
    LivingMyDream, Flouswa and larryb like this.
  8. StratocasterKid

    StratocasterKid Electromatic

    50
    Jul 4, 2018
    shreveport
    Two guys walked into a bar which is strange, when the first guy walked into it the second should have stopped
     
  9. wabash slim

    wabash slim Friend of Fred

    Age:
    70
    Feb 10, 2010
    lafayette in
    pmac11, thunder58 and russmack like this.
  10. somebodyelseuk

    somebodyelseuk Country Gent

    Jan 22, 2013
    Birmingham, UK
    How many guitarists to change a lightbulb?

    Minimum of three - One to change the bulb and the others to say "That's not the way I would have done it.

    How many millennials does it take to change a light bulb?

    One millennial, Youtube and three internet forums... they'll end up paying someone to do it for them.
     
    Last edited: Jul 8, 2018
  11. somebodyelseuk

    somebodyelseuk Country Gent

    Jan 22, 2013
    Birmingham, UK
    Dalai Lama goes into Pizza Hut and asks for a pizza.
    "What would you like on your topping?"
    "Make me one with everything." says His Holiness.
     
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  12. thunder58

    thunder58 Super Moderator Staff Member

    Age:
    61
    Dec 23, 2010
    tappan ny
    Admin Post
    What do you call a dog with no legs .... anything you want , he's not coming

    What do you call a girl who's missing half a leg ..... Peg
     
  13. larryb

    larryb Gretschified

    Age:
    50
    Oct 29, 2012
    Greenville, SC
    ...and Peg's favorite restaurant?.......Ihop
     
  14. englishman

    englishman Gretschified

    Age:
    62
    Apr 5, 2014
    Detroit
    Ahh the classics!

    What do you call a girl with one leg longer than the other?

    Irene!
     
  15. LivingMyDream

    LivingMyDream Friend of Fred

    @audept, I'm just guessing here, but I suspect that the last 2 cartoons in your last post are funny to non-sound engineers, while sound engineers just shake their heads "yes."
     
    audept and wabash slim like this.
  16. larryb

    larryb Gretschified

    Age:
    50
    Oct 29, 2012
    Greenville, SC
    Guy with no arms or legs? Matt
     
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  17. wabash slim

    wabash slim Friend of Fred

    Age:
    70
    Feb 10, 2010
    lafayette in
    True. I found that 90% of the time when I got asked for "More shimmer" or somesuch thing, just reaching for a knob on the soundboard and asking, "How's that?" usually worked.
     
  18. drmilktruck

    drmilktruck Gretschified

    May 17, 2009
    Plymouth, MN
    [​IMG]
    [​IMG]

    [​IMG] [​IMG]
     
    Last edited: Jul 8, 2018
    benjwri, Flouswa and LivingMyDream like this.
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