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Discussion in 'Fred's Barcalounge' started by drmilktruck, Dec 6, 2017.

  1. englishman

    englishman Gretschified

    Age:
    60
    Apr 5, 2014
    Detroit
    Hey Rich, having a great time here. Did the Empire State Building yesterday as well as Times Square. Battery Park today and 9-11 memorial. We’re in Long Island city right by The Queensboro Bridge, might have some free time when we get back this evening.
    47ED75DC-A0FD-4A57-90E4-F7ED37E093F6.jpeg
     
  2. larryb

    larryb Gretschified

    Age:
    48
    Oct 29, 2012
    Greenville, SC
    Fun times!! Christmas time in NY is magical!

    Enjoy your stay and have a slice of pizza for me
     
    drmilktruck and englishman like this.
  3. drmilktruck

    drmilktruck Friend of Fred

    May 17, 2009
    Plymouth, MN
    That is a lot to deal with, I'm sorry.
     
    Wulfgang likes this.
  4. larryb

    larryb Gretschified

    Age:
    48
    Oct 29, 2012
    Greenville, SC
    I am really sorry for your current pain. Try to embrace the darkness....I have no idea of your circumstances or the darkness you mentioned, but instead of saying, hang in there, for this time will pass(which it will), I am going to suggest to not run or rush to get out this dark time. There is so much healing, growth and things to learn within the pain.

    My prayers are with you!
     
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  5. JHowdy

    JHowdy Country Gent

    Age:
    52
    Nov 16, 2013
    Finland
    You really nailed it in the last paragraph. It's been quite hard times here too, but so far nothing that some musical activity wouldn't help to bear. Hang on there, friend!
     
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  6. thunder58

    thunder58 Gretschified

    Age:
    59
    Dec 23, 2010
    tappan ny
    Eman , enjoy the day as I have a dinner to go to tonight ( Thursday ) . Say a prayer at the 9-11 memorial for me . It's a special place for me and the guys at work . If you see the name Robert McPadden , place your hand over his name and tell him we all miss him :(
     
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  7. Wulfgang

    Wulfgang Synchromatic

    Age:
    49
    569
    May 22, 2009
    Seattle WA./Omaha NE
    Thanks for everyone's support! It's... well. How much to say here? I know this is a music forum first and foremost and not a place for psychoanalysis. At this point I have nothing to lose but some pride and self respect. My 12 year relationship has come to a end I'm afraid, I was going to buy her a ring next year.

    I have now become one of those old burnt out band guys with the 1000 yard stare, with no prospects, holding that single beer for hours who you would see when your 20 years younger at a club with your drinking buddies with someone often saying " Look at that poor ol sob' hope I don't turn out like him".

    I'm now back in the midwest. Everything I had now left back on the west coast. Finding out even though your in your home town you can still be utterly alone. Seeing others with there families,being happy this time of year .. The friends you thought you had.

    Posting your personal problems on a open forum can be a double edged sword as it can open one door but yet close another. Thanks for letting me vent.
     
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  8. drmilktruck

    drmilktruck Friend of Fred

    May 17, 2009
    Plymouth, MN
    WG - my brother in law had to do the same thing from Seattle a few years ago. Struggled, some old friends helped, got involved in some groups and got a different type job. He’s doing ok but it took some time.
     
    Wulfgang likes this.
  9. JHowdy

    JHowdy Country Gent

    Age:
    52
    Nov 16, 2013
    Finland
    @Wulfgang At the age of 49 you're far from old, you're just about to hit the age of a Man! Those 20 years younger sobs have got so much trouble to come that they can't even imagine that. So cheer up, you will make better than you think now. I know that, from my own experience.
     
  10. thunder58

    thunder58 Gretschified

    Age:
    59
    Dec 23, 2010
    tappan ny
    @Wulfgang , we're all friends here , it's o k to vent . Like I tell everyone here , my door is always open
     
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  11. LivingMyDream

    LivingMyDream Country Gent

    Wulfgang, nearly everyone goes through some tough times in their life, so don't feel alone. What feels like a crushing dark place right now will allow you to appreciate the sunshine even more when it comes back. This will also be a time when you will find out about your true friends, and that there will be others who will care that you never knew about before.

    Remember the saying, and keep repeating it to yourself, "Tough times don't last, but tough people do." It just might help you get through this time.
     
  12. Wulfgang

    Wulfgang Synchromatic

    Age:
    49
    569
    May 22, 2009
    Seattle WA./Omaha NE
    Thanks again you guys, you are wonderful! Opening up is hard online as you never know who's going to see it and use it against you, or it can make people not want to work with you as your considered damaged goods.

    My life right now feels like one of those art house indy films that would have Clint Eastwood directing or Bruce Dern in it, full of reflection of where you went wrong years ago and why you kept going down that path.
     
    drmilktruck likes this.
  13. Synchro

    Synchro Super Moderator Staff Member

    Jun 2, 2008
    Tucson, AZ
    Admin Post
    Look at this as a new beginning. You'll be amazed at what can happen. I started over fresh at 45 and, while it was tough, it wasn't impossible. In many ways, my life started anew that day, even though I was heartbroken at the time.

    Please indulge me a cliché, I don't employ it lightly. There's an old saying about turning loose something you love and if it returns, then it loves you back, but if it doesn't it was never yours to begin with. Sometimes our relationships work that way; sometimes we live and lose. Now, as depressing as that thought may be, it's good to keep perspective. If a relationship is not truly equilateral, that is a disappointment, but it's better to find out so you can move forward.

    A fellow once asked me, "how would you go about meeting people that like to go horseback riding?" The answer was that if you go horseback riding the people you meet while doing that are likely to share your interest. So it is with life. If you seek companionship, pursue the things you want in life and you are much more likely to find a companion that shares your interests. For many years, I hid my musical interests and highlighted other aspects of my personality, but that wasn't be true to myself or anyone else. I've been playing guitar since the Beatles were Top 40 material and that is part of me, a big part of me. In the years since I started over, I have pursued my musical interests and broadened my horizons. My identity includes being a guitarist, along with a number of other things and I'm going to be that person, no matter what.

    Be yourself and see what happens. You might be surprised.
     
  14. Henry

    Henry Friend of Fred

    Apr 9, 2014
    Petaluma
    @Wulfgang, it's good to share.

    I read a great line in the news recently about depression. "Feelings are real, but they are not reality." You feel like crap. That is real, don't deny it; embrace and acknowledge it - as you are doing. But also realize those feelings are not your whole world. For one, you have a father that cares about you. You have friends in town. Sure you don't have kids and your buddies do. I bet they'd love some help babysitting or juggling in the holiday season; it sounds like you have the time.

    Anyway, just some of my thoughts.
     
  15. mbkri

    mbkri Synchromatic

    599
    Sep 22, 2012
    Chicago
    This is the only forum ive ever felt at home and inspired, a place where i come to learn, to share and to feel that i belong. When i got my Jaguar i thought id join the fender equivalent but its not the same. And i dont have time or the passion for more than this.
     
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  16. audept

    audept I Bleed Orange

    Age:
    70
    Dec 1, 2010
    Sydney, Australia
    @Wulfgang: In my mid-40s my world imploded and my marriage ended. I felt old, useless and had nothing to look forward to in life. It was a very dark time for me and I contemplated ending it all. Then from a series of coincidences so unusual it had to be divine intervention, I met the most wonderful woman and everything changed for the better. The last 25 years have been the best of my life, in so many ways I would never have imagined. Stay strong brother, your rainbow could be just around the corner. Remember, it's always darkest before the dawn. I wish for you all the love, peace and happiness that happened to me.
     
    Mag3, drmilktruck, benjwri and 5 others like this.
  17. 5420LH

    5420LH Electromatic

    Age:
    52
    41
    Dec 7, 2017
    USA
    Man this is so true. After 52 years of mistakes and heartaches, I look at brash young people setting out to set the world on fire, and that’s how you’re supposed to be at that age. Good for them. But they have no clue how much pain, grief, loss, failure, regret, and having their heart ripped out they will go through in the next 30 years. Some more, some less, but no one gets through unscarred. Five to one baby, one in five.


    Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk
     
  18. panhead6zero

    panhead6zero Gretschie

    Age:
    60
    296
    Jan 17, 2015
    The Motor City
    Perhaps there is a depth of the soul among us that brought us all here. I was widowed at 28 years old. My beautiful 25 year old wife died from an anuerism. It was the worst thing to happen to me in my life and the most enlightening event to ever happen as well. Go forward Wulfgang, knowing you will have gained wisdom and great strength from this time. Let it not defeat you!
     
    drmilktruck, larryb, Wulfgang and 2 others like this.
  19. Wulfgang

    Wulfgang Synchromatic

    Age:
    49
    569
    May 22, 2009
    Seattle WA./Omaha NE
    I have been going over everyone's responses and well wishes the past few days, not knowing what to say in reply except a heartfelt thank you. 12 long years gone .. Friends I have known for almost 28 years now abandoning me because I'm in financial dire straights. The loss of memories of helping raise her kids, not to mention thousand's in gear left behind that took years to acquire.

    The feeling of being in your late 40's but still having the mentality of a carefree 23yr old, the squirrel at constant play never storing nuts for a rainy day .. I find solace coming here and finding the strength to fight, to keep going when there seems no reason to. Now to come to find out another friend of mine who went by " Joe Q " from El Paso has passed away. Just a guy with a folk acoustic set who would always be a opening act when we would pass thru but one of those "old souls" type.

    Thanks for letting me be here and make a silly fool of myself.
     
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  20. Synchro

    Synchro Super Moderator Staff Member

    Jun 2, 2008
    Tucson, AZ
    Admin Post
    We’re glad you’re here. I started over in my mid forties and it was tough, but things did get better. Make the best life you can, make new friends, play the hell,out of your guitar.
     
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