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Discussion in 'Fred's Barcalounge' started by ZackyDog, Feb 13, 2018.
Yes, and it was satisfying.
Sometimes karma needs a hand, like a car bomb. Oh I did say that did I.
This. All the way this.
The problem with confronting some folks is that they are incapable of looking at things objectively and their negative feelings toward you color their judgment. In too many cases the confrontation involves a request that the other person see things differently, and they either can't or stubbornly refuse. Re-evaluating the situation is threatening to them because it might disrupt their internal narrative that they are "the good guy" or "the innocent victim," causing them to feel a tinge of remorse or guilt that they simply can't handle. Confronting them becomes nothing more than a waste of your time and emotional energy - which are better spent on the people and things that make you happy.
One of my favorite tricks in life is to outlive troublemakers. There was a bad dude in high school that I outlived, and I was only 16 when his hubris and arrogance ended his life in a work accident. Since that time, I've outlived a lot of jerks without having to lift a finger.
Great post, my friend.
I knew a fellow that would get into dodgy business deals, comforted by the fact that he could always sue if the other parties failed to perform. He lived through a lot of bad experiences, and only once got justice in the courts. I could never get across to him that the best way to win was to avoid deals that could end up in court.
I never allowed anything like that to exist for more than a very brief time frame so no there isn't anyone who I allowed to mistreat me for any length of time that I feel the need to confront now. Those folks were removed from my sphere quickly. I have zero tolerance for punks.
I worked in a prison for 25 years, I can ignore stupid behavior pretty effectively.
I saw the person just after buying my 6120 and just before moving across country. No harsh words were exchanged, Now I hear they sit in the room away from family doing drugs (what? I don't know) Probably don't even have their guitar any longer. Karma is real, and you reap what you sow. in so many ways. I overcame suicidal thoughts and actions by myself over what this person done to me. Angry confrontations do not work. Just knowing who you are, and what you are capable of is more than enough.
I am on my 3rd brand new home, and them? the mother in law, when she died, paid off their house and they lost it! Foreclosed! WOW things have a way of biting them. So, please if the confrontation has a chance of being violent. Don't do it.
I still miss her...
And, I got fired...
The closest I've had was a guy who was the ringleader of a group who harassed me a lot in high school. He got in bad car wreck and ended up permanently in a wheelchair. When he finally returned, I ran into him one on one in the hallway. I will always remember him looking up at me like a scared dog who knows he's about to get beat... No words were said, none were needed. We just looked at each other for a moment, and we went our separate ways. The conflict ended that day.
I grew up in. A traditional Chinese-American household. Spanking was a regular part of my discipline. It had mostly stopped but one day age 12 or so, my mom and I got in argument and she tried to slap me. I grabbed her hand and told her that next time I would fight back.
Aside from that, I am terrible at taking **** from others. I'm fact, I've been known to confront people on behalf of strangers if I think the behavior is really bad. Yea, I'm the kind if guy who will pick up the trash someone left behind, tap them on the shoulder and say "sir/ma'am, I think you forgot this, as I'm sure you don't want to litter."
I hate litterbugs.
I share your attitude, especially about litterbugs or lazybugs.
I had a person who I worked for for many years - doing live sound.She was handicapped -
So I would go out of my way to make her comfortable while she was doing her show. After a while I noticed that she was taking advantage of me almost as if I was her 24 hr gopher. She didn't do it to just me - she did it to everyone who ever worked for her. I started getting headaches, reflux and it was starting to get to me.
It got to the point where she took sometimes months to pay me. I hung in there but eventually I would tell her I was booked when she would call. I've always wanted to tell her that she had to stop treating me like I was her slave but she was black & I am white and I decided that it wouldn't go over very well with her so I just let it go. I figured life is too short to let it get to me. If she calls now I just tell her I'm too busy and unable to work with her and that ends it.
So are most of the places in Mississippi
You are a fine person. You would never last as a country Baptist Preacher. You must just nod and say I'm sorry you feel that way. LOL
Yes it seems sometimes we must overlook the short comings of the handicapped !
My mom did the same thing. I just stared at her, never said a word. She never touched me in anger again.
I was blessed with wonderful parents. I have no memory of them hitting or smacking me ever. Their disapproval was enough to bring me into line. My mother in particular was totally supportive of all my life-choices even though some of them must have gone against the grain of her own beliefs. She was the finest human being I have ever known and I was so lucky to have her for 67 years of my life. I still miss her everyday and in my quiet moments I still tell her how much I love her in case she's listening.
My dad used to tell me that "You don't remember the people who bullied you, you remember the people that you bullied." And I gotta say... he was totally wrong. I remember EVERYONE that put me thru hell as a kid just as much as those of whom I could have made life easier on. I've dealt with issues stemming from constant bullying to this day, from fear of confrontations to body dysmorphia. Talking to therapists doesn't help jack. Bullying is a vicious cycle that needs to be broken by the teachers and the adults overseeing the kids. They need to be able to read the signs and shut that stuff down. I wish I could go back in time, transfer all my martial art training knowledge to my former self, and allow myself to retaliate to the crap people did to me. But noooooo, I was taught to ignore it and that violence in all forms is wrong. It took me a long time to figure out that violence is sometimes the last or only solution.
On a lighter note, Dave Attell said it best in a joke, "You ever make fun of someone so much you think you should thank them for all the good times you had? .... I've got midget friend, an albino friend, and another friend who thinks Lord of the Rings is real. Together we call ourselves 'The Unf*ckables'... 'Coming this fall to FOX, THE UNF*CKABLES!'"